No. #7

"She said, "I’m pregnant. The boyfriend that I had left me, and I’m keeping the baby. And my parents don’t know, but I trust you and I want you to know." Something like that. And my initial reaction was just silence for a few seconds, and I was like, "Deep breath– Okay. I got you.""

I’ve had a few close calls myself, but a friend of mine in high school graduated seven months pregnant. I didn’t know at first, until she was about four months pregnant. She hid it really, really, really well; like, wearing oversize sweaters every single day. Only her close friends and a few other people really knew. She kept it a secret from her mom a week until she gave birth. I have no idea how she did it, but she did it. Her boyfriend, as soon as he found out, broke up with her. In his mind it was: “We’re graduating high school. I’m going to college. You’re having a kid. I can’t have a kid and get my education. It’s not worth it for me.” And he just wasn’t down to take on the responsibility of having a child at 18, when she was.

It broke her heart. Like, not only is she having to keep this secret, but now she can’t even rely on the one person that helped to create this issue as well.

She kept it a secret because people talk, and you don’t want to be known as the “pregnant girl” in high school.

We actually started becoming really close as her pregnancy went on. She pulled me aside and said, "Hey. I don’t want you to freak out because I’m not freaking out. So I don’t want you to worry about me, I just would love to have your help and support in this as my friend." And she said, "I’m pregnant. The boyfriend that I had left me, and I’m keeping the baby. And my parents don’t know, but I trust you and I want you to know." Something like that. And my initial reaction was just silence for a few seconds, and I was like, "Deep breath– Okay. I got you." I went to a doctor’s appointment with her one time. But it was mostly just letting her know that me and her other friends were there for her and we wanted to be her support system because she didn’t have that from her boyfriend or from her parents. When her mom found out, she was basically like, "If you’re gonna screw up your life then go ahead, but I’m not gonna be a part of it." Her grandmother, thankfully, took her in, because her mom kicked her out. Her grandma had her daughter– my friend's mother– when she was younger. I think she understood more of the struggle and realized you can’t just leave her to fend for herself if she’s going through this.

As for my friends and I, we made sure we went to the doctor’s appointments with her, cause she didn’t have anybody else to go with her at the time. Just really caring for her at school, cause it’s a lot to graduate seven months pregnant, still going to class and everything. It’s just good to have a few extra sets of eyes just making sure that she’s good. Cause she can’t exactly go to teachers and be, like, "Hey, I’m pregnant. I’m not feeling okay."

It was inspiring how committed she was to this; the fact that she kept it a secret for so long and just knew, like, 'I am having this baby. I don’t care if my mom kicks me out. My boyfriend left me. I’m still having this baby.'

I know that if I told my parents I got pregnant, they would support me, and everybody would understand. But I just know that if I had a child right now and that child kept me from pursuing all the things that I want to do, I feel like I wouldn’t be a very good mother to that child because I would just be resenting them silently. And so for that reason, I want to make sure that I have lived my life entirely and done everything that I want to do before I have a child.

I think the initial struggle for me was just trying to wrap my head around the fact that she wants this to be her life and for this, this will bring her happiness. And just trying to understand that from somebody else’s point of view was very difficult at first, but as I got to know her better, I finally understood: maybe this is for her. Maybe this isn’t my cup of tea, but for her, she wants this.

It didn’t change my mind on what I would do if I were pregnant, but it really opened my eyes to other people’s perspectives on how to turn something that could be seen as life-ruining into something really positive.

The fact that she was still in high school and going to classes and everything throughout the pregnancy. She participated in extracurriculars throughout this as well. I think she participated in a tech crew at my school which does an international trip to help with schools– she was on a plane while pregnant, and nobody knew. Just little things here and there that, for a regular student, is nothing, but for her at the time was just everything.

She still lives with her grandmother and the baby; because the grandmother’s there to help with the baby, she actually got a job doing some sort of technical work for a production company. Cause that was kind of her focus in high school. So she skipped college but went right into the industry that she wanted to go in, so it all worked out.

Looking back, I’m kinda proud of myself. Supporting her like that, it was the right thing to do. And like I said, if I were in her situation, I would’ve wanted that support system.